We are pleased to announce an exciting newly-invented iron-based printing process, which we are today offering to the alternative photographic process community.
It makes use of the recent scientific discovery that human brain tissue may accumulate deposits of reactive, neurotoxic iron(III) salts:
- Drink regular daily amounts of citrus fruit juice, iron tonic, and colloidal gold dietary supplement. (see goldcolloidal.com)
- In the dark, practice lengthy Yoga headstands in order to promote gravitational sedimentation of the carboxylic acids and metal ions, forming a sub-cranial deposit of cerebral iron(III) photosensitizer.
- Carefully shave your scalp (this step may be omitted by the follically-challenged, and tonsured monks).
- Tape a photographic negative to the top of your head – emulsion down, of course.
- Stand in the sun for 30 minutes, with your hat removed, in order to print-out a truly conceptual art-work. See illustration to the right.
- To secure an archival neurotype, the final processing step is, necessarily, thorough brainwashing.
The Neurotype is designed especially for those alternative practitioners who are susceptible to degenerative brain disorders, such as Poissondavril’s Syndrome.
P.S. Yes, this is a joke:-)